Gospel according to Saint Matthew 18:15-20:
Jesus said to his disciples: “If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have won over your brother. If he does not listen, take one or two others along with you, so that ‘every fact may be established on the testimony of two or three witnesses.’ If he refuses to listen to them, tell the church. If he refuses to listen even to the church, then treat him as you would a Gentile or a tax collector. Amen, I say to you, whatever you bind on earth shall be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth shall be loosed in heaven. Again, amen, I say to you, if two of you agree on earth about anything for which they are to pray, it shall be granted to them by my heavenly Father. For where two or three are gathered together in my name, there am I in the midst of them.”

Correcting myself, correcting others, taking care of each other

Luis CASASUS President of the Idente Missionaries

Rome, September 06, 2026 | XXIII Sunday in Ordinary Time

Ezek 33: 7-9; Rom 13: 8-10; Mt 18: 15-20

Although it is clear that Jesus wants to teach us today how to respond to conflict—particularly those who feel they have been wronged—He ultimately provides the key to addressing any conflict that arises in the Church, in the family, or in any community.

It is usually advised that everyone should listen to one another, seek better communication, spend “quality time” together, and exercise great patience. Who could deny that all of this is positive? But what is new—Christ’s essential contribution—points to something even more important than our fragile patience, even if we are able to forgive 70 × 7 times: the promise that, if we are gathered in His name, He remains in our midst.

Do we believe this is true? Have we experienced it?

To say that He is “in our midst” is different from saying that He is in your heart or mine. In this way, He is able to preserve our unity, despite the misunderstandings and disagreements that inevitably arise. In moments of tension and difficult relationships, He leaves within each of the parties involved a feeling we cannot deny (even though we may reject it with fury and anger). It is as if He were saying to us:

Do you realize that, before long, neither this person nor you will be in this world?

Do you understand that neither his judgment nor yours leads to a complete resolution of the matter at hand?

Do you remember that you and this person are called to share an eternity, and that my Father’s plans cannot be thwarted by your reasons, preferences, or passions?

Thus, like a humble candle in the middle of the table, it casts the same light on two people who feel distant and wounded, giving us the chance not only to calm our irritation but also to keep moving forward and working together. He is the one who makes forgiveness possible—true forgiveness that reveals to us how not to turn away from our neighbor in situations that overwhelm us.

He does not give us reasons, but He instills in us a feeling that overcomes all our certainties and fears. As Fernando Rielo says in Transfiguration:

Whenever you doubt… let your heart be the one to lead.

We cannot be naive; we must accept that what St. Augustine described—both ironically and accurately—is true of us: We humans are like earthenware vessels; as soon as they clash against one another, they break.

Surely, accepting that conflicts will inevitably arise in communities, families, the Church, and the world is the first wise step that frees us from despair and allows us—above all—to turn to Jesus.

At times, a person feels deeply powerless to correct, instruct, and lead their spouse, children, or siblings onto the right path. And that can lead to genuine despair.

Some time ago, an intelligent, level-headed, and kind woman who was going through particularly difficult times told me: “The only thing I’ve learned from my relationships with my family is that all men are arrogant and insensitive, and all women are manipulative and envious.” It struck me so deeply that I literally remember her words; but together we reflected on Christ’s warning, which cautions us against judging others, making it clear that we all share in frailty, weakness, and confusion: Why do you look at the speck in your brother’s eye, but fail to notice the log in your own eye? (Mt 7:3). Thanks to her sincere faith, she was able to gradually overcome this pessimistic and aggressive view of her neighbor.

—ooOoo—

Today’s Gospel passage refers not only to a personal offense but also to a “sin” committed by a neighbor—something that everyone considers, and which is visibly, a fault or a mistake. Correcting someone is such a delicate matter that Jesus gives us many details on how to do it.

First, by protecting as much as possible the reputation of the one who has done wrong: Rebuke him in private, just the two of you. That way, the person’s reputation will not be damaged, but he will have the opportunity to take the initiative, ask for forgiveness, and openly acknowledge his wrongdoing.

Unfortunately, we know that this does not always happen, and Christ teaches us the second step: “call one or two” and help them understand their error. Seeing that several people have been taken aback or upset by my behavior, it is easier for me not to think badly of the person who wishes to correct me, as I see the effects of my inappropriate actions on various people.

The final step, which is more formal and legal in nature, is for “the community” to hear from the one who has done something wrong. In the face of the person’s possible stubbornness, Christ suggests treating them as “a Gentile or a tax collector.” While this may seem like a form of exclusion, let us remember how the Master treats Gentiles, tax collectors, Pharisees, and public sinners: they are souls loved by God and awaited by Him in His fold.

An exceptional literary example demonstrating that love necessarily entails responsibility can be found in The Little Prince (1943) by Antoine de Saint-Exupéry, specifically in the famous and unforgettable metaphor of the rose and the fox.

At the beginning of the story, the Little Prince’s love for his rose is immature. She is proud, capricious, and demanding, which overwhelms the protagonist and leads him to leave his asteroid. However, the true lesson about the nature of love occurs when the Little Prince arrives on Earth and meets the fox.

The fox asks the Little Prince to “tame” him. In the language of the book, to tame means to form a bond. The fox explains that, before meeting, they are indifferent to one another (one is an ordinary boy and the other is a fox just like a hundred thousand other foxes). But by forming a bond, they become unique in the world to one another.

When the Little Prince sees a garden with five thousand roses identical to his own, he feels deeply sad because he thought his rose was the only one in the universe. The fox makes him reconsider with a fundamental truth: It was the time you spent with your rose that made her so important.

Love grows through daily care, effort, and the time devoted to another person. The maxim, then, is: You are responsible for what you have tamed, for the person you have loved… whether a little or a lot.

The climax of this lesson comes when the fox reveals his great secret before saying goodbye: People have forgotten this truth. But you must not forget it. You are forever responsible for what you have tamed. You are responsible for your rose…

At this point in the story, the Little Prince realizes that love is not just a passive feeling or a pleasant emotion. Love is an ethical commitment. Even though his rose is physically identical to the five thousand in the garden, the Little Prince is responsible for her because he protected her from the wind with a screen, covered her with a glass bell jar, killed the caterpillars for her, and listened to her complaints and her silences.

The Little Prince decides to return to his planet not because he misses the scent of the rose, but because he understands that she needs him and he has taken on the duty of caring for her. Mature love sheds selfishness and transforms into the conscious act of protecting the vulnerability of the beloved. We cannot abandon it; if we do, her pain and ours may be masked, but not healed.

—ooOoo—

Let’s not lose sight of the fact that today’s Readings are linked in that they both signify ways of caring for the beloved:

Ezekiel reminds us that we are sentinels, keeping watch from the watchtower atop the wall, so that our brother does not fall prey to the enemy; although the language may seem strange to us—as it is typical of the Old Testament—the message is clear: I must not remain silent; I cannot be indifferent to a brother who strays, whether slightly or seriously. This is our first form of responsibility.

St. Paul speaks to us of the second dimension of this care: not harming our neighbor; to this end, he recalls the ancient commandments and Christ’s synthesis of them (Mt 22:36–40), affirming that our love for God and our love for our neighbor must be “equal.”

Today’s Gospel passage refers to a form of “emergency” care, or “first aid,” for Jesus links what we may bind or loose on earth to what will be bound or loosed in heaven. That is the very purpose of fraternal correction: nothing more and nothing less than saving our brother or sister, as Christ himself says. It is a way of affirming that our thoughtless actions have eternal consequences, determining what our heavenly home will be like.

But first and foremost, I can hardly correct another if, deep down, I do not sincerely and fully accept correction myself and instead automatically interpret it as an attack, a lack of understanding, or a mistake on the part of someone who is, in some way, my superior or my guide.

Surely, our clearest experience of being “cared for” by the divine Persons is the growth in faith, hope, and charity that we express each week in our Examination of Perfection: the gifts of wisdom, strength, and piety, along with all the others, are signs of that care, which is not intended to eliminate difficulties, but to prepare us to transform them into opportunities for change, into instruments for our true participation in the kingdom of heaven.

—ooOoo—

A final note, of interest to those who are indifferent to or distrustful of the person of Christ: modern psychology fully confirms the effectiveness of the conflict-resolution process that Jesus proposes today in Matthew 18:15–20.

This passage establishes a protocol for assertive, phased, and private communication that aligns with current best practices in mediation, family therapy, and organizational psychology. Today’s psychology supports the approach presented in the Gospel to prevent conflict from escalating and to protect the mental health of those involved:

* Privacy and direct confrontation (Mt 18:15): If your brother sins against you, go and rebuke him in private…. This avoids triangulation (speaking ill of someone to a third party), which leads to gossip and paranoia. Addressing the problem in private reduces the other person’s defensiveness, since they do not feel publicly humiliated, and it fosters assertiveness.

* Mediation by witnesses (Mt 18:16): If he does not listen to you, take one or two others with you…. When one-on-one dialogue fails, conflict psychology recommends formal mediation. The presence of neutral observers helps regulate emotions, prevents the conversation from veering off track, and validates the facts objectively without descending into destructive confrontation.

* Set healthy boundaries and create distance (Matt. 18:17): If they refuse to listen to them… treat them as a pagan or a tax collector. Contrary to the popular belief that one must put up with everything, clinical psychology emphasizes the need to set firm boundaries and, if necessary, create some distance from people who refuse to take responsibility for their actions (narcissistic or highly hostile individuals). This does not mean abandoning those who err or rebel, but rather treating them with human respect (as Jesus treated the tax collectors), in the hope of drawing them into the inner circle of trust in the future.

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In the Sacred Hearts of Jesus, Mary and Joseph,

Luis CASASUS

President