Gospel according to Saint Mark 10,2-16:

Some Pharisees came and put him to the test with this question, «Is it right for a husband to divorce his wife?». He replied, «What law did Moses give you?». They answered, «Moses allowed us to write a certificate of dismissal in order to divorce». Then Jesus said to them, «Moses wrote this law for you, because you are stubborn. But in the beginning of creation God made them male and female, and because of this, man has to leave father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one body. So they are no longer two but one body. Therefore let no one separate what God has joined». When they were indoors at home, the disciples again asked him about this and He told them, «Whoever divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery against his wife, and the woman who divorces her husband and marries another also commits adultery».
People were bringing their little children to him to have him touch them, and the disciples rebuked them for this. When Jesus noticed it, He was very angry and said, «Let the children come to me and don’t stop them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these. Truly, I say to you, whoever does not receive the kingdom of God like a child will not enter it». Then He took the children in his arms and laying his hands on them, blessed them.

Wolves, Children and Divorces

Luis CASASUS President of the Idente Missionaries

Rome, October 06, 2024 | XXVII Sunday in Ordinary Time

Gen 2: 18-24; Heb 2: 9-11; Mk 10: 2-16

Many of you will remember that the Italian town of Gubbio is famous for an episode told of the life of St. Francis.

The inhabitants were suspicious and afraid to venture beyond the city walls, for a wild wolf had attacked and killed several people. Francis, trusting in God, went out alone to meet the wolf. The animal appeared. Francis made the sign of the cross and spoke to it, calling the beast “Brother Wolf” and scolding it for all the suffering it had caused him. The wolf, which was about to pounce, suddenly calmed down and lay down at Francis’ feet. Tradition has it that the wolf, from then on, lived in the city and was fed by the people; the dogs never barked at him and the citizens were saddened when he died of old age.

What does this story have to do with today’s Gospel? More than it seems. When Christ has just finished talking about what it means in marriage, He embraces a child and asks them to let the children come to Him. At the time of Jesus, children had no social status, they were not considered as citizens, nor as full persons. Nor did women have a worthy social rank, for they were completely dependent on their husbands. The message is clear: the disciple of Christ must approach those whom everyone prefers to ignore, exclude… or destroy. It is a matter, in the language of Pope Francis, of reaching out to those who constitute the periphery, those who can hardly have a hint, a clue, a testimony that allows them to encounter the Divine Persons. Returning to St. Francis, he lived many episodes similar to that of Gubbio, as when he embraced a leper, or when he visited the Sultan of Babylon.

Christ does not tell us that we are to “bear” children, but to welcome them, because of what is in them of the kingdom of heaven. Two Sundays ago, the Gospel text urges us to welcome children as the one who always needs help, as the image of the one we should serve, but today he proposes children as teachers in the way of receiving the kingdom of heaven.

Just as St. Francis was able to see in a bloodthirsty wolf what no one else could see, just as a child sees in a cloud the face of a person, the map of a country or a giraffe flying through the air, just as Jesus, at the age of twelve, understood that obedience required him to stay and dialogue with the doctors of the Law… exactly the opposite of what might seem to adults to be a prank or an act of disregard for his family.

Children are masters of the gaze. As the poet Khalil Gibran (1883-1931) said: Keep me away from wisdom that does not cry, from philosophy that does not laugh, and from greatness that does not bow to children.

A great man once said that the greatest compliment he had ever been paid was when a child came up to him, to him a complete stranger, and asked him to tie his shoelaces. The child has not yet learned to be suspicious of the world. He still believes the best of others. Sometimes that very trust leads him into danger, because there are those who are totally unworthy of it and abuse it, but that trust is a beautiful and fertile thing.

Every act of conscious learning requires a willingness to suffer a form of wound to one’s pride. That is why children, before they are aware of their own worth, learn so easily; and why some adults, especially if they are vain or overbearing, cannot really learn anything.

This also happens with the kingdom of heaven, which we know can be presented discreetly as a seed, as Christ teaches us, and go unnoticed, just like the hidden treasure in the parable. This is reflected in the following story.

Angela remembers as a child hearing the tapping of a walking stick on the sidewalk. It was an old man bent with age, his rough, knotted hand firmly gripping a cane. But this old man had a peculiar habit when he wandered the streets of that small town. When he saw a child, he would stop, reach into his pocket and hand him an image of Christ. He would put it in the child’s hand and go on his way, without a word.

What this gentleman did may not seem like much. However, this small act of kindness made a world of difference to Angela. She says that, more than 40 years later, she still has the photo he gave her. The image depicts Jesus surrounded by a flock of sheep, with a river running through the center of the image. On the back is written in a trembling hand: Psalm 23.

It was not until Angela was an adult that she realized what the man was doing. In his own way, he was planting small seeds of faith in the children on his street. For Angela, it worked. His faithful commitment, she says, helped form a rock in the foundation of my own faith.

Who would have thought that giving a little girl a picture of Jesus would eventually lead her to faith? Who would have thought that a tiny little seed would produce such a big bush? Indeed, who would have thought that the Messiah would come from a town as small and unlikely as Nazareth? It is often from small sowings in our hearts that the kingdom of heaven grows. From the things that children and those like them appreciate.

—ooOoo—

Faced with the trap-question that the Pharisees ask Christ, He refuses to discuss the lawfulness of divorce and goes to the origin of the union of man and woman, as expressed in Genesis: God created man in His own image, in the image of God He created him; male and female He created them (Gen 1: 27). There are all kinds of trivial interpretations of creation, for example, the claim that God the Father “corrected” a mistake in his work by seeing that it was not good for the male to be alone and so he created woman. So the deeper message of today’s three readings is the value of companionship, as we read in the Letter to the Hebrews, God the Father permitted the sacrifice of Christ in order to have a multitude of children with Him.

It is not by chance that the Church invites us today to reflect on the value of the profound union between man and woman and on the dramatic consequences of divorce or abandonment of children, whatever the legislation on marriage or divorce. Such a union requires grace and a willingness to embrace it.

What is truly important is that in Marriage, as a sacrament, God is at the center of the relationship between the spouses. For this reason, it is not bold to affirm that marriage crises among Catholics do not have their deepest root in obvious moral or psychological difficulties, but in a lack of faith. Sometimes, we do not believe that the marital and family union is a mission, which is manifested, for example, in families that NEVER pray together.

In truth, to understand the indissolubility of marriage, we must be like children and accept that we are in the hands of the Father. As the Confucian master Mencius said four centuries before Christ, a great man is one who does not lose his childlike heart.

Sexuality is not a game. In its deepest sense, it is one more instrument at the service of ecstasy, giving the human being a way out of himself and towards his neighbor. Certainly, the selfish use of sexuality has disastrous consequences, because it goes against something beautiful, belonging to the divine plans for us. This selfish or individualistic use of sexuality, the failure to take seriously what is recited in the marriage liturgy, to be faithful in prosperity and adversity, in sickness and in health, leads to deep frustration.

If we do not believe in this value of companionship, the small daily tensions, not necessarily the big problems, will destroy the dreams of those who decide for a life in common in marriage or religious family. The misunderstandings that divide, small but important to our ego; the words or lack of communication or sharing that generate mistrust; the unfulfilled expectations or disappointment that seep into us; the feeling that someone reacts to whatever we say by getting angry or bursting into tears.

Then, we begin to value independence over relationships and either isolate ourselves or hastily seek an alternative relationship.

—ooOoo—

I would like to end with a story that will surely give more than one of us food for thought:

When I got home that night, as my wife was serving dinner, I took her by the hand and said: I have something to tell you. She sat down and ate quietly. I watched the pain in her eyes.

Suddenly I didn’t know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I thought. I want a divorce. I broached the subject calmly. She did not seem to get angry at my words, but asked me softly: why?

I avoided her question. This made her angry. That night we did not speak to each other. She was crying. She needed to know what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer; I had lost my heart to another woman, Sara. I no longer loved her. I only felt sorry for her.

With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement. She took one look at it and then tore it to shreds. The woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for the time, resources and energy she had wasted, but I could not take back what I had said because I loved Sara so much. She finally cried her eyes out to me.

The next day, I came home very late and found her writing something at the table. I did not eat dinner; I went straight to bed and fell asleep very quickly because I was tired after an eventful day. When I woke up, she was still writing at the table. I did not mind, so I rolled over and went back to sleep.

In the morning she presented me with her divorce terms: she wanted nothing from me, but she needed a month’s notice before the divorce. He asked that in that month we both strive to lead as normal a life as possible. Her reasons were simple: our son had exams in a month and I didn’t want to disturb him with our broken marriage.

I agreed. But she had something else: she asked me to remember how I had taken her to the bridal room on our wedding day. She asked me to carry her every day for a month from our bedroom to the front door each morning. I thought she was going crazy. To make our last days together more bearable, I agreed to her strange request.

I told Sara about my wife’s divorce terms. She laughed out loud and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she plays, she has to face divorce, she said scornfully.

When I carried my wife the first day, we both looked awkward. Our son clapped his hands behind us, Daddy’s carrying mommy! His words gave me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the living room, then to the door, I walked more than ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said quietly: do not tell our son about the divorce. I nodded, feeling somewhat annoyed. I left her in front of the door. She went to the bus to go to work. I drove alone in my car to the office.

The second day, we both acted much more easily. She leaned against my chest. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized it had been a long time since I had looked closely at this woman. I realized that she was no longer young. She had fine wrinkles on her face and graying hair. Our marriage had taken its toll. For a moment I wondered what I had done to her.

On the fourth day, when I picked her up, I felt intimacy return. She was the woman who had given me ten years of her life. On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was growing again. I did not tell Sara. I found it easier to carry her as the month went on. Maybe the daily training made me stronger?

One morning she was choosing what to wear. She tried on several dresses, but could not find one that fit her. Then she sighed: all my dresses have grown. Suddenly I realized that she had gotten so much thinner, that’s why she could wear it more easily. In that instant, I realized…she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart…. I unconsciously reached out and touched her head.

Our son came in at that moment and said: Dad, it’s time to take Mom out. For him, watching his father carry his mother out in his arms had become an essential part of his life. My wife motioned for our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid to change my mind at that last moment. Then I pulled her into my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the living room, and out into the hallway. Her hand went around my neck gently and naturally. I held her body tightly; it was just like our wedding day.

But her weight, so much lighter, made me sad. The last day, when I held her in my arms, I could barely take a step. Our son had left for school. I hugged her tightly and told her: I had not realized that our life lacked intimacy. I drove to the office…. and quickly got out of the car without closing the door. I was afraid that any delay would make me change my mind…. I went upstairs. Sara opened the door for me and I said: I’m sorry, Sara, I no longer want a divorce.

She looked at me, astonished, and then touched my forehead. Do you have a fever? she said. I pushed her hand away from my head. I’m sorry, Sara, I said, I am not getting a divorce. My married life was boring probably because she and I did not value the details of our lives, not because we no longer loved each other. Now I realize that, since I took her to my house on our wedding day, I am supposed to keep her until death do us part. Sara seemed to wake up suddenly. She slapped me hard and then slammed the door shut and burst into tears. I went downstairs and left. At the flower shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife. The sales clerk asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote: I will carry you every morning until death do us part.

That night I came home, flowers in my hands and a smile on my face, ran upstairs and found my wife in bed, dead. She had been fighting cancer for months and I was so busy with Sara that I did not even notice. She knew she would die soon and wanted to save me from any negative reaction from our son, should we go through with the divorce. At least, in our son’s eyes…I am a loving husband….

_______________________________

In the Sacred Hearts of Jesus, Mary and Joseph,

Luis CASASUS

President