By F. Luis Casasús, General Superior of idente missionaries
Commentary on the Sunday Gospel of 10-9-2017, Twenty-third Sunday in Ordinary Time (Book of Ezekiel 33:7-9; Letter to the Romans 13:8-10; Matthew 18:15-20)
The task of fraternal correction is one of the most difficult things in community life and inter-personal relationships. Dealing with someone who has disturbed the peace of the community is perhaps one of the most difficult responsibilities in life. How can we be honest and yet compassionate in dealing with the fractures in community living?
Whenever someone sins, the community is somehow affected. We cannot pretend that it does not affect us as we are inter-related and inter-dependent, more so if we are directly connected because of family ties or spiritual ties. This is why, the Lord reminded us: Son of man, I have appointed you as watchman to the House of Israel. As missionaries, we have a prophetic gift not so much to predict the future but to enlighten the present state of the situation. Our mission, like the prophets of old, is to announce and bear witness to God’s word both to the community and the individual person.
Here are some characteristic (and wrong) forms of reacting before people under our responsibility and we have to correct:
* One way of dealing with the situation is to ignore the reality and allow the evil to continue. We sweep everything under the carpet and excuse ourselves saying something like I am not my brother’s keeper. Or some excuse themselves by saying that we should not judge.
At the root of it all, is that we are afraid of confrontation and intervention. We are afraid of rejection, inconvenience, misunderstanding and loss of acceptance. At the same time, we also know that the failure to deal with the situation, especially if we ourselves have been hurt directly and brooding over the matter will poison our mind and heart further until we find ourselves unable to have any relationship with the person.
* Some people simply seek to “eliminate the problem”, and in this way they psychologically abuse or even kill the other person. But, as the popular saying goes: If you want to gather honey, do not kick over the beehive. Again, there is fear of genuinely approaching the brother who makes a mistake. They just want the person who was wrong to be punished, not so much corrected or to repent. Usually they report them immediately to the authorities so that they could be humiliated and be given the punishment that we hope to see. Underlying such attitude is their anger and vindictiveness. Love is the fundamental motive and principle for the correction of errant sinners. It is our love for the sinner as an individual and for the community that impels us to act for the good of all. As St Paul says: Love is the one thing that cannot hurt your neighbor; that is why it is the answer to every one of the commandments.
* Some religious people give the impression that they know it all. Usually they are error-hunters and they need to constantly highlight any errors people make, even if they are minuscule. But such an attitude reveals not their wisdom but their foolishness.
In his novel The Idiot, Dostoevsky describes those know-it-alls who strive for appearances among others in society. Sick in body with childlike nobility of soul, Prince Muishkin acts as a foil to the know-it-all way of life. You know, I sometimes think it is a good thing to be odd, the prince observes. We can forgive one another more easily and be more humble. By “odd,” the prince meant an awareness of our own weaknesses, sins, insanities, limits, and societal imperfections.
* Often, we prefer to gossip and slander one another instead of privately approaching him with a loving and kind attitude to point out his errors and failings.
Fraternal correction is a way of loving our neighbor because it represents an opportunity to cooperate with the grace of God, because when we genuinely, joyfully repent, God takes the stains of our sin and converts them into beautiful reminders of His grace:
There is a well-known story of some men in Scotland who had spent the day fishing. That evening they were having tea in a little inn. One of the fishermen, in a characteristic gesture to describe the size of the fish that got away, slung out his hands just as the waitress was getting ready to set the cup of tea at his place. The hand and the teacup collided, dashing the tea against the whitewashed walls. Immediately an ugly brown stain began to spread over the wall. The man who did it was very embarrassed and apologized profusely, but one of the other guests jumped up and said, “Never mind.” Pulling a pen from his pocket, he began to sketch around the ugly brown stain. Soon there emerged a picture of a magnificent royal stag with his antlers spread. That artist was Sir Edwin Landseer, England’s foremost painter of animals.
Today’s first reading says it in even clearer terms: If I tell the wicked man that he shall surely die, and you do not speak out to dissuade the wicked man from his way, he shall die for his guilt, but I will hold you responsible for his death. But if you warn the wicked man, trying to turn him from his way, and he refuses to turn from his way, he shall die for his guilt, but you shall save yourself.
A preliminary remark: We come with a position already, thinking that we are right and the other person needs to be converted. He is supposed to listen to us, rather than we listening to him. There is hardly any dialogue since dialogue requires openness and the readiness to admit that we can also be wrong in our judgment. And even if we are open and we are essentially right, the accused party may not be willing to speak about the matter yet. There are other psychological and emotional factors involved, for example, the wounds are still raw and the trust is still not there. So trying to tell a person that he is wrong would only be met with anger and denial. It leads to retaliation.
How do you correct your neighbor? Jesus said that you should try doing it yourself alone. If it does not work invite one or two persons to help. If that too did not work, take it to the community of God’s people. This reflects a very profound wisdom and knowledge of human beings: we are self-centered and our vision is always partial, we are victims of our attachment to our views and opinions, therefore frequently we need to listen to several persons telling us something different from or opposed to our convictions and ideas.
Sometimes we must find some people who could perhaps be more objective than ourselves or wise enough to see the full spectrum of the issue. In finding help from another person, the goal is not so much to expose or pressurize the offender and put him on trial but to help the person to recognize the wrong and that our judgment is not biased but objective. In this way, we might be able to win back our brother.
To correct mistakes you need both moral authority and love. Authority and love seem to be contradictory but in reality they are not. Authority without love is stifling and does not work. Love without authority is shallow. A well-known adage says that “you can catch more flies with a spoonful of honey than with vinegar.’’
When Aquila and Priscilla heard Apollos preaching the message of John’s baptism but not that of Jesus (Acts 18: 26), they did not try to harshly interrupt his preaching, or ridicule and humiliate him before his audience. They instead took him aside and explained to him what he was missing and not teaching. Nowhere do we hear him arguing with Aquila and Priscilla or saying: Who do you think you are, trying to teach me something else? Instead, Apollos humbly accepted the correction and even welcomed it.
Jesus did not mean for us to “Live and let live.” The Gospel must be preached to the entire world and part of the gospel is to repent. To get people to repent they have to know that they have sinned. When we see a brother or sister sin, we must try to restore. This is true love, to convert the sinner or the wayward believer back on the right path is to save a soul from death. This is not unrighteous judging.
Judging is trying to guess people’s motives and false accusing them similar to what the Pharisees did to Jesus constantly. Judging is nitpicking like the Pharisees did when the disciples were picking corn to eat on the Sabbath day. Another example of judging is when they found fault with Jesus for healing on the Sabbath day. That is nitpicking and judging unrighteous judgments.
Making false assumptions, backbiting, gossiping, and purposely looking for faults in order to accuse is the type of judging that is wrong. If we search deep down into our hearts, we will know the difference between godly correction and judgmental nitpicking.
And if that person fails to listen to the church too, then he/she should be regarded as a pagan.
This must be understood within context. Christ Himself never gave up on anyone, not even the most incorrigible sinner. So, as his disciples, we must never give up hope of reconciliation or the conversion of someone or of our enemies. To treat them as pagans is to recognize that they are ignorant or are sinners. It does not mean that we cut them off completely. Rather, through prayer and time, they might one day find the grace for conversion. We cannot force people to be converted. They need self-awareness and grace is required. We need to wait for God’s time. Reconciliation and repentance cannot be rushed.
So, even when the community excommunicates a sinner, it is with the intention of bringing about reconciliation. Since all other avenues have been exhausted and dialogue failed because of the stubbornness of the sinner, that person must be put outside of the community so that he can rethink his situation. In fact, excommunication is the most painful decision the authorities could take on any individual, since the Christian community always puts compassion and forgiveness above all else. We must remember the words of the prophet, that God takes no pleasure in the death of the wicked but wants them to repent from their ways and live.
Consequently, we must continue to pray for them. We must take heart and trust in the power of prayer for Jesus said: I tell you solemnly once again, if two of you on earth agree to ask anything at all, it will be granted to you by my Father in heaven. For where two or three meet in my name, I shall be there with them. Yes, we must ask for healing, enlightenment and reconciliation. God will somehow give us the grace of reconciliation if only we trust in Him.
It is not sin but grace that will have the last word.
Let us be reminded of the words of St James in all that we do: Speak and act as those who are going to be judged by the law that gives freedom, because judgment without mercy will be shown to anyone who has not been merciful. Mercy triumphs over judgment. (James 2:12f)
